She hummed at his whisper, gladly pressing her back against him, her hands finding their way to the side of his neck. “I’m impatient to have a taste of it.” She purred back purposly pressing her back against him a bit more. The woman started playing with his hair where it touched her fingers, letting him do whatever he had in mind.
Rowan hummed and nuzzled his face into her shoulder. His hands caressing and massaging every part he could reach. Cuddling. That’s really what he wanted. It had been a long time since he held someone like this. Someone he really loved with all his heart.
She relaxed in his arm, the more relax she was the more she leaned againt him. She turned around carefluly in his arm and nuzzle his shoulder. Her hands trailing his back. “Shall we go back to the bed?” she asked with a grin”
"I just want to forget…" He sobbed quietly. Whatever his mind did, it hadn’t done a good enough job. While he forgot their face, he still hadn’t forgotten what they had done to him, and done for him.
Everything about them hurt.
He didn’t want to remember. It only reminded him of the pain that kept coming when he finally decided to trust somebody. To finally place hope in something.
But at the same time, part of him didn’t want to forget. For if he forgot, he’d only trust again. He’d only hope.
"But… then I’d only fall into the same trap. And everything dear to me would be ripped once more from my grasp…"
And he doubted he’d ever be able to function after that.
Ghirahim glanced up, not at all realizing that this woman had wrapped her arms around him until much later. Too lost in his mind and his past. His movement was weak, and almost gentle, as he pushed her arms away.
He didn’t need comfort or consoling.
He didn’t need kind words and positive outlooks.
He didn’t need a healed heart.
He needed to be numb.
Because he couldn’t risk opening up again.
"but memories always come back. you can loc them away, but when you’ll need them the less they will pop back up. You must learn to live by them." he pushed he away, but it didn’t stop her from running a hand on his arm until she found his hand and held tightly. "Learn to forgive, anger and sorrow is only a trap who’ll destroy you slowly… and accept to cry, you seem like some one who didn’t let his feelings out for a long time"
She wished she knew the right words to use, she wished she could find her way trough him. Only way she’d know was to let him vent it out. She was iddly making circles on his hand with her tumb, She wasn’t paying that much attention to the touch mostly ready to hear all he got to say, he did say a lot already she just felt he might have more to let loose
Estelle frowned at the pain she could hear in his voice, when he dropped her hand she stood there listenning trying to find where he was gone. When he spoke again she stepped closer toward his voice and sat on the ground when she understood he was sitting to. “everything has an end…. and it’s rarely joycefuls, but after? can’t you keep the good moments? Does it really have to end in a mess tough? Like I said… I don’t plan on purposly hurting you, it is worth something”
She moved her hand, trying to find him. She had to push herself a bit closer, but smiled when her hand met with his arm. She didn’t move tough, jsut kept her hand there, trying to be somehow recomforting. “Don,t be afraid to hope something someday will be better, be afraid of what you’ll be when you stop completly hoping.”
"No… No!" His head shook in denial and he clutched at his chest. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to remember, or to think. He didn’t want to remember their laughter, their happiness when he was happy. "I don’t want to! I don’t want to!" He didn’t want to remember the good times, because it only reminded him of the bad. It only reminded him of their betrayal. "How can I! When I know they betrayed me in the end! When I kn—"
And his voice broke in a loud sob.
I don’t plan on purposely hurting you.
He didn’t notice her hand. Because with those words he remembered that promise they had made.
I want to fix you.
He let out a scream and curled in on himself. It hurt. It hurt!
Because even though they fixed him… the damage caused by them leaving broke him even more than before.
Just why? Just why did it have to hurt so much?
Estelle stood not knowign what to do. She had triggered something she realize it now, but didn’t know what she should do to fix it. She didn’t know neough of his past to say something. She placed her hand on his shoulder before steping closer and wrapping her arms around him. “There is no right answer to that, but you need to make a separation between the happy memories and the departure, so you don’t drown yourslef into your thoughts.” Her words were only a whisper, but she hoped they would bring some peace to his mind at some points.
"No… I,ve got nothing left to hold me around…" She followed Caleb, slowly, head low. She always wanted to go on Earth, never she thought it would be this way. First time she leaves the citadel would be the run from misery. "We’ll stop visit Eileen?" SHe asked, her voice was almost a whisper.
Maybe leaving this hole would help her. She had yet tried to contact her brother’s familly, there is no way it would have gone right. She did ocntact her mom, her parents are alive, it’s all she needed to know. Her friends, as far she knows most of them survived, but most of them were too busy searchign for their own.
At Estelle’s question, Caleb stopped and stood still a moment. “We will visit her, yeah… but… I am afraid she can’t have a conversation with us… not so soon.” He shiffted, squeezing her arm. “No worries, ok? She is fine… she just needs some rest they say. She will be happy to hear you.”
He smiled and resumed his path. “Come on, we need to find a shuttle. Just… I will probably be rude, don’t panic, ok?”
She tilted her head at his voice tone, but didn,t think much. With Eileen being hospitalized Caleb probably had a lot of stress. “It’s fine, I can just hold her hand… it is still that…. I will be able to at least do that!?” She seemed a bit worried, nothing surprising with all that hapenned.
Estelle held a bit tighter to caleb’s hand. “I won’t. I just want to get away from all this. Where will we stay once on earth?”
I wnated to RP a bit tonight, but I’m in an awful mood now. I guess I,ll pass for otnight